I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
last night I used snow as a chaser
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
