Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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