So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
His hands were made for my vagina.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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