the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
