This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I FOUND THE LEGS
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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