i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
