I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
