It's Friday. Sex?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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