I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
