why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
