careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
