Everything about him screamed your future.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
