Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
