i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
