real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
