Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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