never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
