the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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