shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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