Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
