Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
