It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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