her vagine was all disorganized.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
