I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
