she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
