new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
