You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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