Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize