I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You can't special order awesome
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
