you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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