Swine flu. Run for my life!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
