There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
