i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
