i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
