Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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