Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
