I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
