I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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