There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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