I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
