never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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