Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
