Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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