i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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