I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
