Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
