i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
