don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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