You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
one might say we're banned from that church
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
