at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
a search helicopter?!
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize