After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
