Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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