So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
