Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Actions speak louder than pants.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
