She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
