i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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