They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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