Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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