turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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