6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We're too hungover to prance.
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