Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Randomize
