There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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