boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
