She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
