first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
