I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
