Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize