I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
